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Oct 28

Negative Voices

The other day I went for a job interview. The job description seemed as though they were looking for exactly what I could and wanted to give. But when I got there, I realized I had a bad feeling about the place. I thought that maybe, the feeling had to do with the distance I would have to travel, weather, or that I just wasn’t feeling well. But then, the feeling intensified slightly when I spoke to the receptionist, and then again when I spoke to the HR person. It continued into the meeting with the first and then the second interviewer. I couldn’t put my finger on it as it was something I didn’t recognize.

As I proceeded to interview it became more and more clear to me that what they were looking for were skills that I didn’t have. In fact, the longer we spoke, the less confident I
became in my ability to do the job that I felt the job description detailed. The interviews were finally over and the last person I spoke with walked with me to the door. He thanked me for coming, but that’s all he said. He didn’t say he would be in touch or that I would hear from them one way or another, he just said “thanks for coming”. I recalled moments later one of the last statements he had made during the interview implied that he didn’t believe my approach to accomplishing the work was the right approach. That was several weeks ago.

Since that time, those words keep ringing out in my mind. Even though I knew my approach was the correct approach there was a part of me that questioned myself. It said, “What have you got to offer?” and “You haven’t developed the skills you need.” and “You’re not good enough to succeed at that job.” Have you ever noticed how the negative voices will always speak the loudest? They tend to beat us down and erode our confidence. They can, if unchecked completely alter your dreams and desires by convincing you that you’re not capable, not good enough, not deserving, or even that you were silly for even have thought about achieving that goal. If you don’t take control of your thoughts, every hurt, every criticism, every derogatory comment will play in your mind over and over. They will echo off the walls of your mind and reinforce and duplicate themselves.

After the interview I was and still do tend to be insecure about it, to feel inferior, and to lower my confidence. But I know that I need to keep reminding myself, that just because the company’s expectations and my skills were not matched, doesn’t mean that they will find what they’re looking for. It doesn’t mean that if they do find it, that it will work out the way they hope. They may have said I’m not what they’re looking for. They may have rejected me. But ultimately, I am the one that decides whether their decision is an accurate reflection of who I am.

People may tell you, You’re just not what I’m looking for. But that means you are exactly what someone else is looking for. People may say, You’re not talented. We don’t need you. You don’t have anything to offer us. But don’t believe it reflects who you are. Those statements are about them and their desires. You are perfectly and wonderfully made. You have talent. You are creative. You have blessings and gifts other people don’t have. You are smart. You are intelligent. You are amazing.

I want to challenge you. Whenever you feel that sting of rejection, instead of getting down on yourselves and losing your sense of value, you should adopt an attitude that says,

“I may be a little disappointed; This may hurt a little; But I’m not going to allow myself to sink down into self-pity and start thinking that there is something wrong with me. I know who I am, I know my value. I wasn’t chosen by that company, my boss, or the team captain, but I choose who I am and what is for me. What I choose is good and not bitter, wealth and not want, happiness and not regret. I choose to have hope for the future and to be a blessing to everyone I meet.”

I know some of you have gone through more than your share of unfair situations. But here’s what I’ve learned. Even though life may not seem fair, if you will refrain from thinking there is something wrong with you, but instead start seeing yourself as valuable, lovable, and deserving, and if you’ll remember that you have great things to offer then you will walk with a spring in your step and a confidence in yourself that causes the world to bend to your desires. You will see things that you couldn’t see before. You will reap a harvest that you did not sow. You have the ability within your mind to make the rest of your life many times better than those that would reject you could ever imagine.

Now I should caution you. Don’t be fooled into thinking that this is an easy thing to do. You absolutely can do it, but you’ve got to dig your heels in. Don’t allow what somebody else did or didn’t do steal your destiny and cause you to go through life feeling like you’re not good enough, not talented enough, or not attractive enough. Realize that you’re great. Your value doesn’t come from people or accomplishments; it comes from the universe itself. You need to recognize your greatness and put your shoulders back. Hold your head high. Live with confidence and security that you are more than capable of overcoming any challenge through persistence and refusing to give up. Your faith will take what might be meant for your harm and use it for your advantage.

3 comments

  1. Jenita

    You keep it up now, unedrsntad? Really good to know.

  2. Josh Bulloc

    Dan,
    Thanks for writing this one. This is something I have to work through every day. I hate disappointing people so when I don’t fit their expectations I feel like there is something wrong with me. Then I have to take some time and remember that I have a strong set of skills and if I want to get even better at that skill that I will have to neglect the weaker ones. I also have to remember that many others do value my skills.

    1. Dan

      Thanks Josh. I think this is natural for people. We take things personally that aren’t that personal. We naturally let other’s statements infect our thoughts and affect our confidence. Part of maturing emotionally is realizing and understanding that we are the ones that get to decide what we think about ourselves.

      Thanks for the comments. Have a great day!

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